This blog was created for one purpose. With the hope that it will help others.
As a Christian, the big “D” (Divorce), is not something that is spoken about often in church; probably because it’s pretty well known that God hates divorce. In fact, I wasn’t even aware that God permitted divorce in the case of adultery until after I had filed. (Matthew 5:32)
When the decision was made to file for divorce, I cried out to God asking why this was happening. Why did my marriage end in divorce? Why did my husband have yet another affair? Why, after all the work I had put in, after all of my sacrifice, had it ended this way? I never did anything wrong. I didn’t do drugs. I didn’t cheat. I went to church. I prayed. And now, I was 30 years old with a three-year-old son and a failed marriage. So why was this happening?
And the simple answer is, I have no freaking idea. Five months later, and I can tell you I have no idea why my life went to crap. Right now, it’s a bunch of “I don’t knows”. I don’t know where my life is going. I don’t know if I’ll ever find someone again. I don’t know if the decisions my ex-husband makes will forever change my son. And I don’t know if this divorce is for the best. And as a control freak…limbo…sucks.
Yes, I don’t know where my life is going, but God does.
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”-Jeremiah 29:11
A year before my husband’s first affair, I prayed that God would use my life to better serve Him. That I would grow closer to Him and that He would strengthen my faith. Well, let me tell you. God has a sense of humor.
You see, I believe God used an affair to make me stronger.
Weird as it sounds, way down deep in my gut, I believe God allowed my divorce through my ex-husbands infidelity because he knew it was the only way I would run to him with complete abandonment. I believe I am purposefully broken. That my broken heart and broken family is a part of God’s plan for my life. That is will create a purpose in my life. I have no idea what that purpose is, but I’m trusting God to guide me.
With my eyes fixed on God, I am walking on a path not knowing where it will lead. And I invite you to join me.
I am in a very similar situation to you. I found out my husband was having an affair in June. But he has been a long-time porn user. He is blaming it on me now. I think that divorce may be our only option. We’re married 18 years and have two kids 15 and 12. This is the most painful thing I’ve ever been through. I, too, feel like this may be the only way I would “run with abandon” to God.
Hi Heather. I understand what it feels like right after you find out your partner has been unfaithful. It’s devastating. It’s a pain unlike any other. In my deepest pain I would ask God for his comfort. That I would feel his presence in my grief. I know nothing I can say will take away your pain, but know that I understand. And God is with you, even though it may not feel like it at the moment. – Prayers and Hugs.
I am so proud that you are allowing God to use you during all of this pain and confusion. When I read your post, it hit me because I too got a divorce this past year after 20 yrs of married for the same reasons. God beautifully broke me. I know that He has great plans for me. Keep doing what you’re doing because this helps. Women and men need to hear the struggles and pain and how God can heal it. God bless you.
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I have been dealing with my husbands infidelity for a year and a half. 1st time he confessed, and those were physical, I have now found out 4 additional times of emotional affairs. He has addictions that are out of control. I have fought for so long for our marriage to work, and even though he hates what he does, and is repentant, I still feel like it’ll happen again. So here I am, reading EVERY one of your posts, and hoping, trusting, begging God to just hold me and get me through, whatever happens. We have been together 20 years, and have 5 daughters, 19, 17, 14, 11, and 9. 😞. It’s devastating.